I was chatting yesterday with my best friend and she said something that I can't stop thinking about. We were reminiscing and we recalled the night 4 years ago, when I was at her apartment for the last time before I moved to Switzerland and of course as I left we were both crying like little children. Afterwards, one of our friends said that there is no reason to cry, because Bassant will come back. The logic: I am an Egyptian, and by virtue of my egyptian-ness I was bound to come home eventually.
That day, as I was leaving her apartment, a process I had long ago become accustomed to had begun. I was leaving my friends, my family, my life, my home, everything I'd known. We said our goodbyes, our we'll keep in touch's, it's not au revoir, it's only à bientot..But this time it was a little different. Every time we traveled, I wouldn't want to leave, but the potential adventures, the traveling, meeting new people would overcome my inhibitions and everything I had left behind would be forgotten in a few days.
This time though, I made a vow to myself: I was coming back as soon as I possibly could. And, I'd sure as hell be staying for good.
Reluctantly, I got on a plane, preparing myself to reject this new life. It was temporary - there was no reason to make friends, because well, I had ones back home (for those of you who actually managed to befriend me despite me, congratulations). There is no reason to like Geneva, because I wasn't going to be here for long. I chose my major, made my plans, lined up my career, all so that I can move home.
Our 4 year post is coming to an end on August 11th.
I am not coming home.
One of the problems with my super plan (besides the fact that I planned it) is that I had to give up a career I've wanted since I was 14 and I did. Temporarily at least. I want to become a lawyer. To do that in Egypt I have to study Islamic law. Since I am neither a beacon of religion, nor well-versed in the arabic language (I am easily outdone by a 5th grader in that domain), I decided to pursue a different career if it meant going home. Then I started my Masters in International Law and it all changed. I realized that, besides shopping (which, FYI, is not a career), it's probably the only thing I will ever be good at...something about being outspoken, sarcastic and a generally unpleasant individual makes law a pretty good career choice. Who knew?
So I find myself applying to law schools and considering which Bar exams I want to take and making plans which will keep me away from home for a few more years.
I am young and I wouldnt want to settle down in one place any time soon, but there is a part of me I am afraid of - the part that loves adventures, and traveling and exploring, the part that will pursue law at all costs. That part of me is trying to reconcile itself with the part that I left behind in Egypt.
It is an uphill battle. My life would be incomplete without Egypt. But if I walk away from law, I'd be a little less me - which would be a shame for all of you.
One day I aspire to stop being a walking contradiction. But for now, I am an Egyptian and an almost lawyer. And I will do my best to keep it that way.
So here's to you guys being able to reconcile all your aspirations. Best of luck.
B.
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