A little truth

I've taken to blogging whenever my mind is too busy to consume with work - it brings a surprising sort of comfort even though I never actually blog about what's keeping my mind ticking. I think I'm going to give it a go today. Try to sort out the incoherent, define the undefined and perhaps find solutions. I apologize already, because this experiment may result in a non-sensical stream of consciousness.

So where to begin? A whirlwind of events, and all of a sudden you find yourself wrapped up in people who pull you in every which way, sometimes directions that contradict each other, sometimes directions you would have never thought of, but you follow, blindly. Out of sheer curiosity, out of narcissism, out of need for attention, out of loneliness, out of boredom. You follow even if you know you shouldn't. You fall for it every time, because curiosity always trumps experience, because curiosity always trumps sticks and stones. You follow.

In the short term, your path is clear, your benefits racking up, you are excited and thrilled and anticipating every turn in the road. You are traveling with a friend or maybe someone who means a little more in the moment. Very little fear, very little regard for the consequences, just forward.

Then the path starts winding a little less, the idea becomes a little less novel, the somebody becomes constant. A new event pulls you in a new direction. How do you reconcile both? Specially when the first path no longer resembles an adventure, but a comfortable habit?

Then come the hardest choices we have to make. To continue or not to continue? Is the first path meant to be just that, a temporary adventure, an excuse for someone to say 'oh but think about all the good memories'? Or can it become an excuse for someone to say 'look at how far you've come'? Is it a path worth pursuing further? What happens when all the excitement disappears in the midst of habit? Do you trudge on, hoping that the 'known' and the 'comfortable' compensate, that they turn out to be better than the unknown? Until when? To what end?

I've been sitting here for 5 minutes. Staring at my cursor. I know the answer. I do. I know it.

On to the implementation.

B