I was having a conversation with my good friend Kenny Wiley about reaching a point in the road where decisions must be made. Sometimes these decisions require a leap and sometimes they are well calculated and their positive outcome is pretty much guaranteed.
After officially completing my masters degree in September, I was asked 'what next?' by so many people, I considered writing out my career path on my forehead. At the peak of my annoyance with these questions, I realized that I was not the only person grappling with these issues. From Greece, to Egypt, to the United States.. what WAS next?
Also another discussion that has spanned from the US of A, to the Gulf of Mexico, to Croatia, to Egypt and right back to Switzerland is taking a leap in personal relationships. Josipa Saric once told me, 'I really have to dedicate serious time to my thesis because time is running out and I want to get married'. Back then, I thought it was quite entertaining.
But I think at a certain stage of life the concept of 'taking a leap' has become so relevant in everything we do, all of our considerations. Careers and personal relationships alike, require a leap based on strength, ability to accept failure and most of all fear.
Now Mr. Wiley asked me a very important question, he asked whether I leap often.
For a really long time, leaping for me was a mere mathematical equation. You do, you receive. End of story. I did and I received. I believed that leaping was a process:
1) Identify the goal
2) Do everything in your power to achieve that goal
3) THEN LEAP.
Bam. Goal accomplished. Onto the next mountain.
Until this year. As a self-proclaimed work-aholic and insane believer in effort = results, I leaped fearlessly. Thinking no different this year, I made career plans and I travelled across the atlantic. I studied hard, I applied to jobs, I applied to schools, I travelled to take exams and I travelled to build relationships. As the year progressed, I found that even though I put my heart and soul into every endeavor, every relationship, every goal, things just fell apart. I was working but I was not receiving.
So what was happening? Why did I leap and fail to fly? For the first time ever I realized that working hard does not make me invincible, it only raises the probability that I will get what I want. It took me a couple of months to bounce back, to realize that leaping and falling, like Paulina Colio Ibarra told me, was not a reflection of the person I was, but falling was in fact a new opportunity, a window, a new possibility.
Career-wise, leaping and falling this year opened such incredible doors for me. I learned that being narrow minded in identifying your goal will only increase your chance of failure. When I opened my mind to the possibilities, I realized that the goal I had failed to achieve, was actually not my best option. My best friend, May Bahgat, through sheer determination, recently taught me that an important part of falling is being able to get right back up again. The fear that comes with leaping needs to be harnessed as a motivator to try again and again. If you let the fear take over you and stop you from seeking out new endeavors, that's when you've truly failed.
I also honestly think this blog post wouldn't be complete without Greg Lee, whose leaps took him to the unconventional and who taught me that sometimes the right way is not the only way. Although unconventionality is still a step I am too scared to take, I have realized now that there are 10 different ways to achieve my goals and the only way to properly leap and succeed is to consider all of them.
Relationship-wise, leaping and falling taught me to know what I want and to not settle for anything less. Introspection, introspection, introspection. Most of all, falling taught me to reassess myself, situations, what I want and what is worth fighting for. Janina Mank also inspired me, teaching me to practice what I preach. In personal relationships, the same approach applies. Know what you want, consider all the possibilities, then pick up that phone.
Finally, you want to know what my favorite part about all of this is? Of all the people mentioned in this post, only Kenny Wiley and Greg Lee share the same nationality (although not from the same state). Finally. I've found something that unites you all. The will to move forward. The will to build a better, brighter, weirder, greater, funnier, warmer future.
Kenny here.
ReplyDeleteMy problem isn't the leaping--it's the feeling that I screwed up and shouldn't have right after I do. I try to jump and not jump at the same time. Anyway, you're pretty wise and stuff.
"an important part of falling is being able to get right back up again."
ReplyDeleteMay has it right on. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to be shot down over and over... It's incredibly disheartening and it takes even more effort to jump back.
I feel like we're taught to leap...always with the expectation to fly. But we're never taught to deal with falling. We go through high school and college with people surrounding us telling us how successful we'll be as soon as we graduate...but never the reality that even with the grades, you could fail.
But what if it's not about grades? What if it takes a lot more than that? And what does it take? We weren't prepared for this in school/college...all that we were told was a simple equation: Study hard = Good grades + good life. But they never told us what else we needed to succeed and I think that is what you're meant to find out when you fall over and over again.
Building yourself up is the only way to find out because it's not the grades that make you unique..it's everything else. Back in the day, all it took was an undergrad degree and grades et voila: job. Enjoy.
But now, thanks to technology and a more competitive world, that's not enough. We keep falling when we leap because we underestimate the challenge...and the day you leap and fly, you'll have matured and risen to the occasion...you'll be flying like a G6.
Bonne chance a tous! Je t'embrasse xx