Home is where the heart is.

Apparently.

What happens though when your heart is in more than one place? How many places can you call home all at once? And is home defined by the place or by the people who inhabit the place? Or by where your ambitions take you?

I haven't been able to write. The point of this blog is to show you how I balance or struggle to balance two different homes, one where my heart is and one where the rest of me is. But I've been thinking about it, and I've realized that at any given time during the year, my heart is in at least 3 continents.

Josipa says that, 'Home should always be security. A sense of peace and belonging, even if you feel like a stranger because of the amount of time that passes, the feeling of peace, security and belonging should never escape. Home is where the heart is. And if you heart changes locations, then let it be. But never forget the sense of coming back to "home" - wherever it may be.'

Sometimes I'm scared that I'll lose the feeling of coming back home. I'm scared that security, peace and belonging are solely attainable based on the whims of my internet connection. Sometimes my heart is in so many places, that none of them really are home, but contain enough potential to become home. It's frustrating.

It's frustrating when your ambitions lead you to one place, people lead you to another and your origins lead you to a third. How do you reconcile them? How do you wake up every morning with a purpose when you know that this purpose may mean that you may need to make a sacrifice, no matter how small?

I never used to leave a world-trotting trail behind me. I was so careful. I'd always be the kid who everyone says goodbye to. The kid who always left. The minute I was gone, I was gone. The people and the place disappeared. Out of sight, out of mind.

Home was simply wherever my parents said home was.

Not anymore. Whoever gave my heart the right to decide where home is, has clearly never encountered it. Because if home really is where the heart is, then home is everywhere but here.

B